Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Life of a 30 Something

I had a great talk with my BOFF last night. Like, much needed girl talk, wish it were over wine talk. After I hung up, it hit me. I am no longer a college co-ed, or even a carefree 20 something. Nope, I am a single 31 year old woman. Ick. It just sounds so blah. Woman, I mean what happened to the days when your mom called you young lady? Nope, now its just woman.

Don't get me wrong, not sure I would go back to say er, 23, but not quite sure I am ready for the mammoth decisions and experiences of my 30's. Gone are the days when I could just pick up and move because the wind blew east or the grass not only looked greener, it was speckled with cute boys. I have so many other moving parts to my life that require so much thought even to say, go to the store! And don't get me started on the man front.

Doesn't get easier when you hit 30. I think in fact it becomes mire complicated as the sea of potential suitors narrows and breaking up or starting something new or changing anything in that department seems like deciding to go to war!

In fact, all decisions that need to be made now seem epic. They are life altering, pick the course you want to take difficult. Its not a matter of do you like me, check yes or no; or hmmm do I go out and skip class in the morning or go to class hungover; or to buy that new purse and eat Ramen for a week or not.... I mean, who lied and told me that your 30's is when you have it all figured out and you get to start living your life? Is anyone really 30 and flirty and thriving?

My image of of 30 was married, job, 2.5 kids and a dog (or 2). It wasn't one big decision after another that swallows you whole and/or watching everyone else live out your dream.

Perhaps my 40's will be the new 30's?

Monday, July 21, 2014

Big Scares & Big Decisions

Ever wonder how many hours one can sleep in one day and still be tired? Yeah, let's go with about 17. I believe I slept 17 hours yesterday. I just could not keep my eyes open. I was up long enough to eat and take the dogs out. I left work mid afternoon Friday on my way out of town for the weekend, when life decided I needed to stay put.

Couple trips of emptying my stomach later and long nap, I was staying here for the weekend. I also saw later that 35 South was closed in both directions past Waco, so my 3 hour trip to Austin would have lasted 6-7, so fate?

But this weekend gave me some time to think and reflect. Last week was interesting in my life. I was given some good news, some bad news, and some surprising news all in the course of a couple days. I found out some people incredibly close to me were going to be parents! I congratulated my brother on his new job & found out I was going to be an Aunt again! (seriously everyone is knocked up these days). I had a ghost of dating past eerily reappear and finally opened up about tons of things that had been going on in my head and heart. I basically reevaluated every aspect of my life.

In between unconscousness I did some sole searching. I prayed a lot, read the Gospel and read every journal entry I made in the last 4 years. I am amazed how much my life has changed and how much it has stayed the same. 4 years ago, I was clerking before my third year of law school and M and I were trying to get back together. I was lost and confused and most of all scared. I had this picture of what I wanted my life to be and I had this opportunity to make it work.

Today, I am still lost and scared. But in the last four years I have realized that its better to say what is on mind than hold it in. I have nothing to lose by revealing my heart other than the change to do it. I know that my thoughts and opinions, wants and needs matter. I am equipped to face whatever life hands me, though not always with grace and charm. I know that sometimes you only get one change to let people know what they mean to you. I am able to keep toxic people out and let those who truly care in. It does't mean I don't make stupid decisions or perhaps say a tad too much. I disappoint myself and still do not understand His plan for me. But I know, that everything happens for a reason. Every encounter, thought, decision and move we make it for some greater plan that we cannot see. So, I will live every day to fullest, have no regrets and make sure I speak the truth not only to other, but to myself. In the words of Shakespeare:

Friday, July 18, 2014

Confessional Friday

Oh Hey Friday, where did you come from? Did I also mention its 65 degrees outside? In Texas? In July?!? So let's get down to business with this little confess sesh.

I confess....

  • people read my blog who i never thought knew it existed or even cared.... strange feeling to realize this
  • I'm a nutcase. Seriously. I go from zero to crazy woman in .5 milliseconds.
  • wine helps all things
  • you never really stop caring about people who meant a lot to you
  • I have the best and most supportive friends in the entire world.
  • I have some big decisions to make right now and I don't want to, so if anyone would like to make them for me, let me know!
  • I watched the entire first 4 seasons of Downton Abbey on eh, a week and a half... problem ya think?
  • I get wrapped up and coiled in my own mind.... great thanks mind.
  • I needed something new and decided to get bangs..... what do you all think?
Happy Friday ya'll!

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Total Social Favorites

Venus Trapped in Mars

It's that time again! #totalsocial time! I love this monthly link up with Sarah and Helene. This month's topic: Favorites! I have so many favorites from favorite food, color, pastime, pin, post--you get my drift.  So, I know I needed something wonderful to share with you all today. After much thought, I bring you my favorite verses. These are the verses I go to in times of sorrow, strife, anger, fear, happiness, and joy. I hope you enjoy them.

“Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”
Matthew 6:8

Blessed are the peacemakers,for they will be called children of God.Matthew 5:9, NIV

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Stop the Madness

I know I promised you all photos this Workout Wednesday, but this is more important.
Today's public service announcement is brought to you courtesy of #StopTheBeautyMadness.

I was reading my Facebook feed when I saw this ad posted by Marie Claire and liked by a friend of mine.

Wow. Powerful. I clicked through and read the amazing story about #StopTheBeautyMadness and its campaign which features some powerful ads like the one above. Its aim? To stop the stereotypes, myths, lies, rumors, and the "ugly truths hidden in our culture and our own minds." #StopTheBeautyMadness is a series of 25 ad that call out unattainable beauty standards. Its heartbreaking, raw, honest, and remarkable.

I encourage you all to scroll through the ads here. I found myself in so many of these. They are the words I have spoken to myself, my inner monologue. They are the thoughts that run through men in my industry, women whom I meet, my friends, family, but also myself.

I know that people look at me and say, oh she is blonde, thin, lawyer, she must have it all. They don't see the little girl who grew up in a violent home with a father who spent most of her childhood in jail. They fail to see the teenager who struggled to "be like the cool kids" who never had brand name clothing and came home from school to an eviction notice on her apartment door. She was embarrassed of her home and would never invite anyone in, she worked two jobs, while trying to uphold an appearance at school that she was perfect.

They miss the young woman who went to TCU on scholarship and worked the whole time. They gloss over the struggle with body image, self-esteem, and "daddy issues." They see this well-wrapped package of a woman who has worked hard to get where she is today--who was fortunate enough to have people around her who loved her, supported her, nurtured her, and became her family. They do not want to see a woman who still struggles with her place in the world, her looks, her self-esteem, and only wants to what they see.

I admit I am partially to blame. I adhere to the "standards" of modern beauty. I want to have the right clothes, accessories, hair, etc.. But on the other hand, I do these things for me. I buy things because I worked hard to have a good job so that i can provide for myself. I workout and eat right so I feel good, and because I have seen firsthand what lacking in those areas can do to someone. I may not be perfect, I may struggle, I may  "buy in" to somethings, but don't judge me for it. Applaud me for being a strong woman. Applaud me in the moments I struggle, the moments I am weak along with the ones where I am brave. Applaud all women. Stop the madness.

Women should be each other's cheerleaders, not our worst enemies. Enough with the mean girls mentality. We need to back each other up.

For more information or to get involved in this movement, click here.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Bollocks, Blokes & Biscuits

I have a confession. I know its not confessional friday or monday confessions or any sort of link up, but I confess.... I am addicted to Downton Abbey.

It began simply enough. I heard various friends talk about it, and how in love they were with it. I just had no interest. I have my shows and I like my shows and that is that. But, alas, its summer and I watched OITNB quickly and needed something to fill my TV void. So, I hopped on Amazon Prime and watched the first episode.

And then I watched the second, and third, and then season 1, blew throw season 2 and 3 (in one day). I am now on season 4 and I just cannot go back. I love the hair, the clothes, the aristocracy and Oh how I love the accents!

I lived in London during my senior year in college. It was a blast. I had an internship at the American Church in London. I did work with the children's ministry and fundraising for them. Oh to be 22 again and living abroad.

I loved it. I rode the tube and the bus everyday and walked so much. When I returned stateside I hated to drive and have ever since. I enjoyed the food, the people, the gardens, the markets. I was away from everyone I knew and loved for 5 months.

I travelled so much there. I went to Ireland, Belgium, Amsterdam, Italy, and a small island off the coast of italy that name escapes me now... opps. So as I watch Downton Abbey I miss those days. I miss the wonderful shops and the tea oh the tea and biscuits! I yearn for the days of words that mean different things, with the world at my fingertips. I don't have many photos, but here are a few from my time. Mind you I was 22 and looked a tad different.

in the tube

Tower of London

church staff

Tower Bridge

Everyone should travel abroad. You need to explore new places, new foods and new cultures. And stay in hostels, small B&Bs, you get my point. And now watching Downton Abbey I want to go back! I know it was cold and wet and dreary, but it was also exciting with the theatre, museums, markets and the world at your fingertips!

So,  why don't you all grab your bloke, pack up the boot of your car and head out for an adventure. Enjoy tea and biscuits, bangers and mash and the best indian food ever at the local In Style (british 7-11). You will have a jolly ole time!

Friday, July 11, 2014


Oye vey people its Friday!!! Don't you hate the full week back from a short week? makes it feel like 2 weeks, huh? Well, I am linking up with the ever lovely Leslie and sharing a day in my life!

5:00 am - Alarm goes off and I roll out of bed and into my gym clothes.

5:15 am - Arrive at gym. Workout until about 6:40 and then head into the locker room to get ready for the day.

6:55 am - Have awkward view of boobs and butts, yet talk to no one while you stand there and get ready with these people everyday.

7:30 am - Arrive at work. Unlock door, because there are only 2 people here this early and they come in the other door. I then make myself some coffee, read some blogs, check emails and anything that was left in my box after I left last night.
my desk

we do have a good coffee/tea bar and fridge stocked with water & soda and sbaxks

8:00 am - Start working on anything and everything that needs to be done. Depo prep, trial prep, motions, briefs, research, depo summaries.... ya not so exciting.
my other desk

don't mind the purple christmas tree

10:00 am - Grab a snack. Its normally an apple or a protein bar of some kind.

11:45 am - Heat up my lunch of chicken and rice or turkey and rice and head back into my office to eat while working. I do venture out to lunch with friends sometimes, but 99% of the time, its lunch in my office.

I work away the afternoon stopping for snack somewhere between 2:30 and 3:30.

5:30-6:15 pm - leave work and head home to the babies!

I take the dogs out for a quick walk since its a billion degrees here and then head in to start dinner. When I don't cook, like last night, le guy brings Chipotle after his workout. (He is a pm workout guy.... I cannot stand the crowded gym).

Watch some TV or my new obsession: Downton Abbey (I have binged watched seasons 1 & 2).

Head to bed around 9:45 pm and then do it all again! Not very interesting, but sometimes my week  includes Wednesday City Group, my monthly Happy Hours with my girlfriends, or the occasional lunch with Aunt K or KW and baby Jordan.

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