Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Umm, Could you Leave Please?

OK, I know that I do some pretty strange things. In fact, we all do. We each have that thing, that if someone else saw us do, we would, do the whole raised eyebrows, WTF are you doing look. And I have realized that many of these things happen in the bathroom. Cause where else we would do rather strange things, right? For instance:

  • not flushing when its only #1. Ok, I get that it conserves water, etc... but in a public place? or in someone else's home? Flush people! Just push that lil knob thing. I do not want to see that when I walk into a public restroom or when I go into my own WC post guests.
  • Talking while I am on the commode. Ok, so maybe if I am at home and you are yelling at me from the other side of the house because I don't know, its burning down or an intruder is coming, but in general, when I am enthroned, I do not want to see anyone, let alone have any kind of discussion with you. Period. End of Subject.
  • Turning on the exhaust fan. That is not its purpose people! That is to remove moisture from the air, not your foul odor post whatever you do in there. Use air freshener. which leads me to my next point
  • Use air freshener. if its there, and you just let out le poo, spray le bottle that is sitting right next to you--its what its there for! And even if you don't think its bad, use it anyway. Won't hurt.
  • Wait til the flush is done. Yeah. Just wait. Ya never know if you leftovers are still lurking, and I for one, do not want to see them.
  • Doing anything other than restroom, powder room related activities in the restroom. I get it, you see a co worker in the john and you chat for a few seconds, no biggie. You brush your hair, brush your teeth, fix your make up, fine! But, please, for the love, do not do anything else in there. Don't get on your cell phone and have a convo, don't journal, pay bills, read a book, eat your lunch, please, if you are going to do any of that in a restroom, when I walk in, could you just leave?

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Just Be

Its moments like these that make me realize how blessed I am. Saturday morning, sleeping puppies, the sun coming through the windows as I watch reruns of the last season of SITC. Perfection.

Sure, I could be looking through depos to prepare for trial, or reviewing production for exhibits lists; I could put away the dishes or start the laundry, I could do a myriad of things that need to be done. Or, I could just be.

Its so easy to get caught up in the "must dos" of life. Between work, church, social life, I often forget to enjoy the small moments of life. Even on the weekends, its a schedule of getting up , getting to the gym, grocery store, errands, so I get home and do work around the house and catch up on work from the week. It can be exhausting. People ask me all the time how I relax, or what I do to have fun, and I stop, pause for that awkward 10-15 seconds and say read? workout?

How sad is it that my "relaxation" is a scheduled activity I squeeze in at 5am during the week? Or reading means depos versus a good ole fashioned book? When did life get so hectic? When did life stop being fun and become all work? When did I forget that Saturday mornings are for pancakes and puppies?

Take time to count your blessings this week. To take in the sunshine, a good rerun of your favorite show and to enjoy pancakes with your puppies--if they stay awake long enough.

Monday, April 21, 2014

For Real?

I love Easter! Everything about it. The risen Lord, the baskets, the chocolate, family togetherness... I mean what more could you want?

My weekend was full of things and stuff and busyness. It involved a little organizing of the kitchen, purging of things I do not need, furniture shopping & Easter baskets!

So, today rejoice in the Lord, know He is Risen! And enjoy my Easter basket pics (yes we are in our 30's and exchanged baskets!)

Friday, April 18, 2014


Today we remember. We do not rejoice, nor celebrate the resurrection. Today we must sit quietly in the darkness and reflect on His suffering. For without the darkness, we cannot see the light.

He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.  Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted.  But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.  We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.  He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.  By oppression and judgment he was taken away. And who can speak of his descendants? For he was cut off from the land of the living; for the transgression of my people he was stricken.  He was assigned a grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death, though he had done no violence, nor was any deceit in his mouth. 
Isaiah 53:3-9

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Happily Ever

So last Friday came and went. I did not lose it, cry myself to sleep, or do something dumb like call or text. Maybe it was because I was in DC surrounded by BOFF and her family, or because my feet hurt so bad from walking our nation's capital all day, or perhaps its because I am happy.

Yeah,  happy. That word that seem to allude me for so many years. Was I a happy child? I think so, at some points. Teens? Surely no. College? There were moments. Law school? Seriously? My 20's? Yes and no. Happy. Its just not a word I ever associated with me. Content? yeah, I often just felt content. But is content enough?

I admit, I have always been one of those girls who believes in Prince Charming, fairytales and happily ever after. I think growing up in a disjointed home can do that to you. My journal, thoughts, and wishes were for "normal," whatever the heck that meant. But to me, normal meant marriage, house, kids, 2 dogs, good job, want for nothing, surely no divorce--normal. I look back and can see so many things, choices, decisions that I made because it was on my path to normal, my pursuit of something better than what I knew growing up. I tried so hard to control, force, push, and where did it land me? I settled for content. Now, don't get me wrong, I loved and still love M. He will always be a part of me, and I don't regret my life with him for one moment. But. had I known then what I know now, I can't say I would have made the same decisions. In fact, I had myself convinced that I was never to know happiness, that somehow I was missed when the happy fairy waved her magic wand.

Then I realized that happy isn't what I thought it was. Its not sunshine, lollipops and cupcakes (although those things make me happy). Its waking every morning knowing  my wrongs have been forgiven and I have a new day granted to me to begin again. Its accepting my faults and shortcomings and striving to do better. Its putting aside myself wants and needs for others. Its being ok in the wilderness knowing He will lead me out of it, in time. Its accepting the things I cannot change and relieving myself of the burdens of others that I was never meant to carry. Its opening my heart and letting someone in, and I mean really in.

No, I have not stopped believing in fairytales, its just that my definition and picture of what one is has changed. See, in every fairytale, Disney story or lifetime sappy movie, what we forget is the struggle. Each character suffers from some trial, tribulation, pain. They suffer through to the ending, to their happily ever after.

I no longer look at my suffering as punishment. No, its merely party of my journey, its the curves, turns, and twists on my fairytale--to my Happily Ever.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Seeing is Believing

For most of us Easter means ham, eggs hunts, baskets, attending church on Sunday and indulging in too many cadbury eggs and peeps. I, in fact, love Easter. I admit, I love the giving of baskets, goodies, dying eggs, and putting on my Easter best. I love that is signifies the coming of spring, sun dresses, sandals and my cherished white Tory Burch purse. Its a time of newness, rebirth, and life.  This is clear through the green grass sprouting, blooms on the trees, and the life that April showers bring. This year I am especially excited for Easter because this year, I can see beyond the Hallmark holiday and into the greater gift not found in any perfectly embroidered basket.

I'd like to paint a picture for you.

Its warm, dusty, crowded. People are shoulder-to-shoulder. They are shouting with joy and its almost as if they are watching a parade. In a sense, this is a parade. Slowly, Jesus makes his way through the crowd, atop a donkey. He is exalted, esteemed, and given a king's welcome into the city. Cloaks are laid at his feet to form a path, and the crowd shouts "Hosana!" The same crowd that will just days later shout "crucify him!"

Could you do it? Would you do it? Ride atop a donkey knowing what is to come? Could you submit your whole being for your father? For all the world's people? Would you be obedient when every fiber in your body screams, no?

This scene painted so artfully in all four Gospels never ceases to amaze me. Its sends chills through my body and reminds me of His awesome love.

See, He knew we could not do it, would not do it. He mustered the courage, the obedience, the loyalty, the faith and walked into a crowd who shouted at Him "Hosana"--help us, save us. How fitting.

This picture is one of the love he had for us, the sacrifice he gave for us. He rode into the crowd knowing full-well what was to come, and never turned back.

What a display of faith. This is where I falter. I have for sometime looked backwards for what I could have done or should have done, and become frustrated when I am unable to control the forward momentum of my life, wanting so badly to know what will come. But I can neither change the past, or control the future. Just like Him. So this Easter season, I will walk by faith alone. I will trust in Him. Because, my heart will betray me, my friends will betray me, my family will betray, but like Him when the crowd betrayed Him, He saved.

We need not see to believe, only trust.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Keeping it Together

I knew it would happen. Ya know the day in your lawyer life when you, eek, miss a deadline. I thought it had come yesterday. There I was working away on the things left for me to get done after my mini vacay. Tweedle de de.... ho hum,, and then BAM! What? They served that? When? How? How many days? What did the Order say? Its already reset? What?

These thoughts swarmed my lil head. I was so confused and panicked and well I may have had a mini heart attack right there in my office. yeah, total false alarm. I mean I plan, calendar and make a million and one post its, how could I forget?

But, I digress (yeah you totally thought this was going to be planner, lawyer thing huh?) See, it was my reaction. I'm a crier. Things go wrong? cry. Mad? cry. Sad? cry. Boss yells at you? cry. Think you have missed a deadline? cry.

Yup, people, the tears swell up and I lose it. I want to just crawl into a hole and bawl. Productive? Yeah right. It has been a goal of mine to work on keeping it together.

Yup, grown woman here who just sometimes losses it. I'm not quite sure where this came from and when it developed, but somewhere between confidant teen and lawyer I lost control of my ability to see when tears are needed.

So, should you walk by me on the way to the bathroom while dressed in suit and heels, don't worry Ill get it together.

And... Happy Birthday to my BOFF!!!

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